Last night, I once again had one of the most emotionally powerful and beautiful experiences of my life. It’s something I only remember experiencing with my second little boy in this way, as he is so much calmer than Reuben was, and still is. Xander has always been such a placid little baby, and in a lot of ways is the complete opposite of my persistently wilful eldest. It’s amazing how two children in the same family can be so different, yet so alike all at once.
Reuben would rarely fall asleep in my arms, choosing instead to breastfeed to sleep or, as he got older, mess around until he wears himself out. Xander, however, is a different story all together. Give me 15 minutes and some Ed Sheeran and I’ll have him sleeping like a, well, baby.
This in itself is a beautiful thing, as I can only ever remember Reuben falling asleep on me once or twice, but it’s what happens around 10 minutes in to that process that moves me beyond comprehension.
As any parent will know, but may not initially realise, when you pick up and hold your children (assuming they’re not massive attitude-ridden teenagers) you tend to bear their weight on your left side, holding them on your chest but slightly off to the left hand side rather than central. I believe this is instinctual, as this positions the child so that their heart is sitting directly on yours.
Holding a baby or young child close to your heart like this is amazingly powerful in so many ways. Your heart rate regulates your child’s heart rate, the warmth of your body helps to warm and regulate the your child’s temperature, and the carbon dioxide you exhale with every breath promotes regular breathing in your little one. This is, in part, why co-sleeping is such a wonderful thing – when done properly and when sound health and safety principals are observed (like not co-sleeping if you’ve been drinking, are a smoker or are overweight).
So, at roughly 10 minutes in to the process of singing my Son to sleep, the most wonderful things happens; our hearts synchronise, and I feel my heart and his beating as one. I feel the power of our beating hearts combined, and the combined power of their electromagnetic fields unify and strengthen. It’s a crazy feeling, because it feels like my heart doubles in power and pumping force – so much so, that it feels unnervingly like my heart might burst out of my chest at any moment. But it’s not the power of my heart alone, but the power of two hearts in unity, reinforced by the unbreakable love between parent and child.
Those last five minutes of getting him to sleep and some of the most spiritual I’ve ever experienced, and is the only time when I feel so connected to his life force that I feel like I can begin to understand the depth of connection that exists between mother and child. They, of course, have the advantage of having been once physically connected to their children – a process that studies show leaves protein deposits in the mothers brain; a gift from their unborn child. So, when it seems like mothers know things about their children from pure intuition, it should be appreciated that mothers have an extremely spiritual connection with them as a result of connections that form through the pregnancy process.
Having the experience I’ve had with my little one has given me a taste of how powerful and beautiful that connection is; one that I savour any time I am lucky enough to experience it.
Feeling yourself become one with your little one through the physical connection of a synchronised beating heart, and through the energetic electromagnetic connection is akin to becoming one with some abstract definition of God – the Universal energy that drives and guides everything, from what we see to what we don’t.
The Universe is within us all as we all are within the Universe, and when two hearts come together like that it provides the opportunity for the Universe to see the beauty of itself in it’s full and limitless glory. That depth of recognition of the intrinsic beauty within us all is an enlightening glimpse at the massive potential inherent to each and every one of us. Let’s not ignore something so powerful, and something so pure – it is a signpost to everything we are, and everything we can be.